Self Awareness, Why it's Important

self-a·ware adj.Aware of oneself, including one's traits, feelings, and behaviors.

self-a·wareness n.

Noun1.self-awareness - awareness of your own individualityawareness, cognisance, cognizance, knowingness, consciousness - having knowledge of; "he had no awareness of his mistakes"; "his sudden consciousness of the problem he faced"; "their intelligence and general knowingness was impressive"orientation - a person's awareness of self with regard to position and time and place and personal relationshipsself-consciousness - self-awareness plus the additional realization that others are similarly aware of you

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/self-awareness

Self awareness is very important if you want to move on, in your life, in a positive manner. If you notice a destructive pattern emerging, whether it's with work or in your personal life, chances are it's with you and not others.

Here are some quotes pertaining to self awareness, how true they are:

• Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this: You are the only one responsible for your own actions. - Holly Lisle
• Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. - Judy Garland
• I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me. - Anwar el-Sadat

God's word supports self awareness:

• Lam 3:38 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Lam 3:39 Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Lam 3:40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
• Rom 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

The bible also speaks about those who are in denial of their own actions:

• Pro 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
• Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
• Jas 1:23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: Jas 1:24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was

If you are not aware of why you react, think, or act the way you do, you will not be able to help yourself or others. If anything, you could be hurting others without even realizing it.

Quote: "Whereas the average individuals "often have not the slightest idea of what they are, of what they want, of what their own opinions are," self-actualizing individuals have "superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general". ~Abraham Maslow Quotes from Motivation & Personality

Quote: Self awareness is the first big step toward wisdom. You can only understand others and the world by first understanding yourself. Self-awareness is also the cornerstone of mental health~ Contributed by one of our hubbers: trsmd

There is much truth in those quotes. If you are self aware, you will reflect on your actions and thoughts. You will search within yourself to see where they come from. You will see if they come from your childhood, a relationship, friends and/or family.

Once you find the source, you can take action. If you don't like what you see, you can change it. If you do like what you see, you can embrace it and build upon it.

Once you become self-aware, there is no more room for blame. You take full responsibility for your actions. In doing so, you realize the impact you have on others and yourself. You will make changes so that you don't hurt those whom you love, including yourself.

Being self-aware also allows yourself to know yourself well. Your opinions won't contradict, for you know what you believe in and why. You will stand firm in your beliefs, yet at the same time, you will be open and understanding to others, for your self-worth does not come from them, but from yourself. You also will know your "hot" buttons and where they come from. You will find yourself acting, instead or "reacting" when someone pushes them. Your boundaries will be clearer. You know yourself well enough to know what you will tolerate and what you will not. You will also be in a better position to explain what your feeling and why you have them. This is so very important in relationships, being able to express yourself effectively.

The greatest purpose, I see, in being self-aware, is to not pass on past hurts, whether it was abuse from your childhood, infidelity from a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, abuse from a former partner, or someone breaking your trust. Being self aware helps to end the cycle. You will not cause your issues to become someone else's. No one deserves that. Self-awareness also frees you from victim-hood. You will stop playing the victim and will start taking responsibility for all your choices. You can't always control what happens to you, but you can control how you handle it.

You will be in more control of yourself, instead of your emotions controlling you.

People do many things for many reasons. If you're not aware of the reasons, it will keep repeating.

Being unaware can cause problems within relationships

Many of us carry baggage. The difference is, some people see it and work on it, while others dump it on their loved ones, without a second thought. Or they perpetuate it by playing the victim.

There are some people who have disastrous relationships, over and over again. If they were to look honestly and deep within themselves, they'd more than likely find the reason why

• they can come from a broken home, or have suffered desertion from a loved one, and trust can become an issue, so their fear of relationships not working out can actually causes them to pick relationships that are bound to fail.
• They can come from abusive homes, whether physically, emotionally, verbally, and/or mentally, they perpetuate it in their own lives. They will either repeat the abuse or will be the victim. Most stay with what they are familiar and comfortable with, even to their own detriment.
• They can be extremely jealous. It can come from their childhood, which made them feel insecure and unlovable. Or it could be they were cheated on by a partner, and in turn, the fear of it happening again causes them to believe their new partner will do the same. They act in a jealous manner, which in turn could cause the faithful partner to leave.
• They can come from families that abused alcohol and were highly dysfunctional, which can cause a barrage of negative feelings and produce co-dependency.
• They can come from a family where one parent was controlling toward another. This pattern could be carried on by the child when they are grown and in adult relationships. They can either be the controller or the one who is controlled and manipulated. it can also cause resentment towards authority figures

Not all react that way, but some do. If you find yourself acting in undesirable ways, or are dealing with low self-esteem; search within yourself to see what is at the root of your problem.

Being unaware can unintentionally cause bad parenting

• If you were abused as a child, you could pass it on to your children
• If you don't have a handle on your anger, it will manifest in your children. You are the example of what you teach them. Actions speak louder than words.
• Did you have an overbearing parent, and in turn are too lenient with your own children? Either extreme is not good.
• Did your parents preach at you constantly, which in turn has turned you off of religion? Or if not, do you do that with your own children?
• If you were not able to open up and express your thoughts and opinions when you were young, do you do the same with your own children?
• Were your parents angry when you expressed yourself? Do you do the same with your children, or your spouse?
• Did you feel invalidated as a person when you were young? Do you get angry, because of it, when others don't see things the same way you do?

Most parents want to do the very best for their children. But if you have unresolved issues, you could unwittingly pass them on to your children. Children learn more by example. They watch everything you do: how you treat others, how you treat the opposite sex, how you handle anger and problems, and how you interact, or don't....All of it teaches them how life should work. Parenting is a serious job. Everything you do and say will affect the child as they mature into adulthood.

I once had a man tell me, after I told him, that how he has treated his girlfriends in the past, could affect his daughter in how she feels about herself as a female. He said "no, I don't do it to her". This is someone who lacks self awareness. He could not see how his actions, directed at others, could affect his daughter. By treating his girlfriends in a demeaning and disrespectful manner, could cause his daughter to see herself as inferior or cause poor self-esteem, along with many other negative emotions and behavior

It takes guts, for someone, to look at themselves honestly, and no one can do it for you. You have to want it! You have to be willing to face the unadulterated truth about yourself. It's not easy, but it's worth it. You will see things much clearer and will be able to work on the things you don't like.

It will help to heal past hurts. It will keep you from perpetuating hurtful behavior. You will know yourself well, which in turn, will help others to know you.You will know what is causing your behavior, which in turn, allows you to behave more responsibly. You will no longer play the victim. You will also gain insight, not only within yourself, but with others and you're able to see the inner-workings of human nature. It will help you to be more empathetic with others, for you are able to see things from other's perspectives, by putting yourself in their shoes. You will no longer blame others for your behavior. You will take full responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Quote: "For one to be truly self aware, one needs to make sure that they understand what truly rules oneself. In most people, it is ego which prevents people from being truly self aware, because it hides truth behind a selfish nature. There are very few people who truly understand that their ego runs their life more so than their own awareness. It takes a humble type of self awareness to recognize when one's own ego is preventing them from truth." ~ Contributed by another hubber- Cagsil

If there is one thing you can do to better your life, is to become self-aware

The easiest person to lie to, is ourselves. The heart is deceitful above all!