Stay-At-Home Moms Do Work!

For all intense and purposes, this article is focusing on Stay-at-home moms, although there are stay-at-home dads and working moms [though I do touch on working moms], I'm familiar with that of being a stay-at-home mom

Being a stay-at-home mom is not easy, contrary to popular belief. There are many that feel if you are not working for monetary value, you are not working.

Though, not all feel that way, many do, more so than not. It's a sad truth, that many stay-at-home moms are undervalued, not just by society, but many times, by their own spouses.

Many times, it's a thankless job, even though it's a very important one. You don't get a paycheck, many times you don't get recognition and barely a pat on the back. It is much different than a paying job where you are rewarded for your work:.

• You receive a paycheck
• At times, the boss will say "good job"
• You can get promotions, raises, accolades and so forth
• If injured on the job, you can apply for workman's compensation
• If you become disabled while working, or even shortly after, you can apply for disability.

This is not the case for stay-at-home moms. They are not looking for an income, but they do want to be recognized as being full contributing members to the household, just as the "work for money" spouse.

What the stay-at-home mom provides is just as important as the "working" spouse. In many ways, what they provide is more important than money. Many times, monetary value cannot be placed on all they do, which is mainly to show love, guidance, and to be a source of comfort to their children. No one can love your children or care about them the way you do. What the stay-at-home mom offers is priceless!

As a say-at-home mom , you are never off the clock. You cannot say, "at 5 o'clock, I'm done".

I've had this asked of me when I was raising my son. I found the question both, insulting and ignorant!!

Some MUST think there is some kind of "fairy" for stay-at-home moms!!

A fairy to:

• Dust
• Vacuum
• Clean windows
• Sweep floors
• Mop floors
• Dry mop floors
• Clean furniture
• Make the beds
• Cook meals
• Nutritionist
• Do the dishes
• Clean up after cooking meals
• Put clean dishes away
• Laundry
• Folding clothing
• Ironing
• Putting away clothing
• Clean the bathrooms
• Detail cleaning, such as: wiping fingerprints, cleaning windowsills, wiping walls, cleaning baseboards, cleaning decorative items, cleaning plants....etc.
• Organizing
• Making a shopping list
• Meal planning
• Grocery shopping
• Writing out a budget
• Paying bills

The above list doesn't even include child care, such as:

• Supervision
• Meeting child's emotional needs
• Encouragement
• Anticipating problems
• Counselor
• Facilitating intellectual and social learning
• Discipline
• Nurse
• Promoting good personal hygene
• Overseeing homework
• Making sure child studies
• Chauffeur

It is not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea. It's a lot of work to run an organized and efficient home.(I'm not talking about lazy workers. You can have lazy workers in the work place just as you do at home).

When you add child care, you are talking about a huge amount of work.

I couldn't believe the audacity of some, to ask what I did all day!! My home was immaculate, organized, everything was taken care of and my husband didn't have to worry about a thing!

But, for the most part, I think that is the prevailing thought, that it doesn't take much work to take care of a home and family. If you have a well-organized and clean home, bills paid, meals made, clean laundry, along with caring for children, you're working your butt off and don't let anyone tell you different!

A man once told me, that his male friends had their wives cut the grass to give them something to do. Unbelievable!! Sadly, a statement like that gives you a peek into their mindset. Some, maybe many, think stay-at-home moms stay home all day and eat Bon-Bons, while fairies do all the work.

When you think about how much it would cost to hire someone for what a stay-at-home mom does, it quickly adds up.

Quote: We took an informal look at the various tasks a typical mom does and how much a family would have to spend to pay professionals to do the same things. (See tasks and compensation below, based on Bureau of Labor Statistics data.)

The total: $61,426 a year -- which doesn't include the salary mom might make at her job. It's an important reminder that all moms need life insurance.

Life Insurance for Mom's Value

Unfortunately, too many women remain uninsured or underinsured, according to LIMRA, a global life insurance research and consulting firm.

And Quote: "Too often couples assume that a stay-at-home parent doesn't need to buy life insurance because he or she isn't a breadwinner. The loss of income isn't the only financial hit a family would suffer if a parent died, however. Someone would have to take over all the tasks that they performed.

"All those services have a price and could be a significant expense for a family to replace," says Steven Brostoff, a spokesperson for the American Council of Life Insurers.

The cost of child care could run $30,000 a year, Feldman says. A family would need about $1 million in capital to produce that much income from investment returns."

Read more: http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2011/04/27/mothers-day-index-mom-worth-year/#ixzz1X7RtU94v

When I was raising my son, my day started from early in the morning and ended a few hours after he was in bed.

I sacrificed much of my time to care for my family. Very little of it was spent on "me".Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing. I just wished there was more respect for what I did and that it was viewed as "work". It's hard at times, to think that some view what you do as unimportant, or not difficult, or you don't need a break, because there's not a dollar amount made from it and your home all day.

I didn't get vacations unless I actually left my home for a few days. Anyone who takes care of their family full-time, knows what I'm talking about. The home is a place of work, unlike husbands who work outside the home and see the home as a place of rest and relaxation. For the stay-at-home mom, there isn't really "a day off". That's not to say men don't do anything at home, but studies have shown that most men, who do cook, usually do so on the grill. Or they help by doing outdoor work and repairs. Though these things are helpful, they are not required day in, day out. There are routine chores and the occasional chores. Men usually help with the occasional chores. If and when they do help with routine chores, it's usually not as frequent as their wife.

Men are doing more than a generation ago, but there is still a division of domestic work based on gender. Sadly, this should not be the case.

Stay-at-home moms want to be viewed as equals, contributing equally to the marriage, and acknowledged that they provide a valuable service. Many times, what she does is downplayed and is considered "woman's work" as if It's a woman's responsibility, her place, plain and simple. Or the other spouse will praise in words, saying "good job", "thanks I appreciate all you do", but they will offer little help with the daily chores. No one wants to be placated.

I have already heard some men say, in a disgusted voice, "I'm not doing woman's work!". They saw it as degrading. If you look at that statement closely, those are the men who also feel women are inferior and to do what is typically "women's work", is beneath them. You can get an idea of how they view their wives.

Some men just think, that's the way it should be....period.

But, at the end of the day, I didn't do it to please everyone. I did it because I knew it was important and my job deserved respect, even if I was the only one respecting it. I took care of my home and worked harder than I would have with a "paying job", for I knew my job was serving a greater purpose in the end. That was to raise a responsible, law abiding, respectful human being.

I know I've hit on some men who don't contribute much at home, or show appreciation for their wives who do work at home. But, they're the ones who do so much damage to their wives sense of herself and her importance, and cause a great deal of resentment.

But there are men who have come of age, realizing it takes two to make a home, two to raise their children, and they contribute fully along with their wives. They show their wives the respect they are due for their hard work. They see their home as important, if not, more important than their paying job. You only get one shot at raising your kids the best you can, and making your home a harmonious one.

If you have a husband like that...hold onto them and cherish them. Though there might be many men like that, there are even more who are not.

If one spouse is working hard at home all day, and the other is working for a pay check; when they are home together, they should be helping each other with everything that entails running a home and raising children. Marriages based on love, respect and equality, do the best and are the happiest for both partners.